I can’t or I will try

Something that has always interested me is the perception of words. Yes, all words have a universal meaning, but words that I would lazily use interchangeably take on a new meaning or convey a different tone with others. For example, I can’t or I will try.

The distinction between these two sentences has intrigued me. I used to do competitive swimming, so I did two hours every day after school, and sometimes I would join the morning training before school. It was hard, especially in the evenings when the sun was at its worst – it was an outdoor pool.

However, I did prefer the evening sessions because fewer people would be there. The lack of competition meant that I could get away with not doing my best because no one was there to show me up. Only my friend Kaitlynn and I trained together, so it was easier to (in the nicest way possible) perform well.

So when we first started training, I remember Kaitlynn and I always said things like, “I can’t do another 50 laps” or “I can’t do ten more minutes” we also really didn’t like going. It was more of a commitment than a passion, and our mindset wasn’t to enjoy what we were doing but to endure.

Looking back on it, our coach could probably tell that we weren’t as committed as others, but he still pushed us to do more and more, which is what you want in a teacher or coach. You want someone to want you to do better or see your ability even if you can’t see it yourself. Anyway, when we said any sentence with ‘I can’t’, he shouted at us more and ironically made us train for longer or give us less time to finish our sets, which means smaller (if any) rest periods. This went on for maybe two years…

I took a break for maybe a month for exams – at least that was the excuse. But Kaitlynn quit for good, so when I came back to practices, it was just me (in the evenings), but it was very different. Firstly, I had missed going and realised I did like it more than I wanted to admit and secondly when I came back everyone was happy to see me. The cafeteria ladies made my favourite cupcakes for when practice was over, and my coach was friendlier. The swimming was still hard, but I started saying, ‘I’ll try to break my lap time’ or ‘I’ll try the reduced set time’.

I found the real difference was that there was more of a give and take with the words ‘I’ll try’ rather than the defensive and stubborn nature of ‘i can’t’. Looking back on it now, I really miss those people and wish I could go back and be more grateful that they cared that much for me in the first place, but alas, maybe I’m just looking back with rose-tinted glasses that is a possibility.

So what is this anecdote all about? Well, never say ‘I can’t even if you think/know it’s impossible. There is a more scientific explanation for this philosophy because it’s also a mental thing. You can read more about it from someone more qualified.